


three shades of love

by earthsgayestdefender



Category: Toradora!
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Minori-centric, Unrequited Love, alternate title was 'minori is wlw agenda', an exploration of minori's relationships with the main 3, spoilers for the anime ending, with an underlayer of minori giving cisheterosexual norms the middle finger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 08:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20721161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthsgayestdefender/pseuds/earthsgayestdefender
Summary: minori reflects on her relationships with three of her closest friends.





	three shades of love

i.

minori likes takasu ryuuji. 

other students whisper that he looms over you like a yakuza about to mug you for money; they cower under his gaze, remarking that his demon eyes feel like they’re glaring straight into the very depths of your soul.

but ryuuji is not what he seems.

not that that really means anything. minori herself knows how appearances can be deceiving. afterall, minori knows the softness of the infamous palm-top tiger's hugs. notices the bite behind famous model kawashima ami’s show of sweetness. looks into the mirror and sees the way her own smile doesn’t reach her eyes sometimes.

in sharp contrast to his scary appearance, ryuuji is very kind. he’s hard-working, like minori, and cooks delicious food, and has this obsession with cleaning that minori finds rather endearing. he’s thoughtful and doesn’t make fun of minori having a buzzcut when she was younger—in fact, minori thinks that maybe he might even support her in getting her hair cut super short again, the way she wanted ever since; the way her mother said would ward boys away akin to the way soybeans repel evil spirits at the setsubun festival.

though she smiles against it, sometimes it makes minor’s teeth grind when she thinks about how she can’t cut her hair because  _ oh what will her future boyfriend think? _ , how she can’t play baseball because it’s a  _ man’s sport _ , how it’s easy for them to dream of holding hands with a girl without a hint of fear or doubt stabbing into her chest—

it’s an aggravating conundrum that brings minori to tears sometimes. sometimes, she can’t help but be green with jealousy when she looks at men, can’t help but harbor resentment and frustration at how they have it so  _ easy _ ...

but ryuuji is different somehow. he’s sweet and awkward and something about the warm glint in his dark eyes make minori think that he’d  _ understand minori  _ and her eccentricities. ryuuji’s eyes, which they say are so terrifying, are actually so warm and welcoming.

minori thinks she’d like to explore the unknown with him someday—if that day comes that the ufos start shining out of the sky.

* * *

ii.

minori loves aisaka taiga.

it’s a fact that’s as tangible as the beat of her own heart. minori knows this the way she knows the curve of taiga’s soft smiles, knows the way tears fall down taiga’s cheeks because of her bastard of a father, knows how the heat of taiga’s hugs can warm up minori’s insides faster than any kind of tea in all of japan.

minori knows taiga better than the backs of her own hands, which is why she knows that taiga is in love with ryuuji.

it’s a fact that stills the smile on her face and traps the breath in lungs, before she forces out a laugh, high and brittle, that causes taiga’s eyebrows to furrow with worry and ami’s lips to furl into a disdainful scowl.

it... hurts.

it hurts to think that she can possibly lose her best friend like this —worse still,  the possibility of being the reason behind taiga’s tears threatens to tear minori’s heart in two.

and god, does her heart  _ break _ , splintering into a thousand pieces inside her ribcage when she sees taiga fall to her knees amidst the snowfall, minori’s ears echoing with the sound of ryuuji’s name in a broken cry. 

so minori tells ryuuji that she doesn’t want to see ufos with him anymore.

it was always a little too fanciful anyway, more of a wistful daydream than anything else. the pain stings her eyes a little, but then minori remembers the way taiga’s shoulders shook with sobs, so she jams her hat over her own tears and fixes the situation as best she can.

minori wants to focus on what she can see, and taiga’s always been there, shining like a star in against the inky darkness of the night sky—even if she’s so far away right now that minori can’t hold her hand the way she wants to.

* * *

iii. 

minori does not know what to feel about kawashima ami.

the girl who calls herself an airhead when her beautiful violet eyes shine with such an air of calculation and appraisal… minori hates those who call themselves airheads. also, she doesn't trust anyone who’s mean to taiga; and envy is the only thing she has for those who follow the ethics of a diet warrior yet still manage to look unbelievably  _ stunning _ in a swimsuit —

needless to say, minori can’t bring herself to truly hate kawashima ami.

maybe it’s because she wanted to believe in amin’s facade of maturity so badly... maybe it was because ami sees through minori's synthetic smiles and confronts her about it — makes minori confront the truth even as she tries to run as fast and far away as possible.

maybe it's the way ami stays with minori anyway, deals with all of minori's tears and laughter. ami helps her deal with the fact, that while ryuuji was cute, especially in an apron, it’s been taiga that minori is in love with.

_ was _ in love with.

but it doesn't always have to be this way, pining after someone who shines so far away.

minori sees that when she’s in ami’s arms, warm and comforting, ami holding her gently when she cries on the night ryuuiji and taiga elope. 

she finds out when ami watches her train and despite all her grumbling, doesn’t leave minori side, even throwing a snowball back despite the cries about ruining her outfit. 

she discovers it when she visits ami during a photoshoot and exchanges an eye roll with her at a particularly pushy photographer.

she knows it when ami’s hand slips into her own, fingers twining when she visits the restaurant where minori works, telling her to stay for a while so ami won't get bored while waiting for her food.

the thing about kawashima ami is that she is right in front of minori. she makes minori feel  _ safe _ and  _ understood _ and  _ happy _ ; while minori knows that ami has her own share of flaws, she also knows that they can continue to work on them, side by side.

so maybe men have the freedom of playing baseball and having short haircuts and being able to buy pictures of cute girls in maid outfits without getting weird looks...

but none of them have the privilege of holding ami's hands during a shopping trip;

of seeing her smile, genuine, soft and for minori’s eyes only, during a softball game;

and of being able to kiss ami at graduation, the promise of a future sweet on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> it is with this sword that i knight thee, kushieda minori, as wlw supreme because she definitely had feelings for taiga ok duel me on this
> 
> the fic's vague enough that you can hc minori any way you want tho my personal hc is that she's bi with a heavy preference towards girls & had a light crush on ryuuji bc a lot of his traits were feminine lel


End file.
